Highly Amusing Personal Ramble:

Why are we here part 1:

People ask me about gear and I say sure, I use gear all the time. I can be as train-spottingly boring as anyone out there when it comes to gear. Trouble is if the song’s no good and the singer doesn’t grab you the gear will make no difference.

Pro Tools blah blah blah. Microphones blah blah blah. Compressors blah blah blah.

I’ll never forget slaving over a song, tweaking, polishing, adjusting. Played it to a girlfriend full of pride and expectation – whaddya think? ‘ I don’t like the singer’.
Cue massive deflation and instant reality check. It’s not about me or the gear. Dammit.

Bugbears part 1:

Anyone who’s been doing this for a reasonable period of time should skip the next bit:
When I started playing in bands a horrifyingly long time ago there was no such thing as a digital tuner. We used those funny shaped things on the sides of our heads and listened while we tuned to one another. It helped if there was a keyboard player because then you knew you were starting from a good place. What often happens these days with less experienced musicians is as follows:

Me : Ok tune that guitar and let’s go.
Guitar player : uh. ( Diligently tunes with digital tuner. All the lights come on. The stars line up and he’s set )
Me : Ok let’s hear it in the song.
Guitar Player : plays blissfully for 3.5 seconds.
Me ( stopping playback ) : It’s not in tune.
GP : But I just tuned up!

At this point we revert to using the funny shaped things on the sides of our heads until SHAZAM the guitar is in tune. Funny old world.

Bugbears part 2:

I will kill myself trying to get the headphone mix right for you. That doesn’t mean it always is. In case it isn’t , I always say ‘just stop and complain until you are happy’. It still mystifies me that people will struggle on under the mistaken illusion that if they do complain I will be upset. It’s my job to make you happy. Sorry.

ALSO : trying to render yourself permanently deaf with the volume of your headphones will not make you sing in tune. I know this from bitter personal experience. Fortunately I didn’t achieve either of the previous stated goals.